So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So many bounce houses so little time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
