I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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