We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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