I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
