I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
