its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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