It's Friday. Sex?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
