i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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