I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
