There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
