First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
