FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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