If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
