SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
