david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
