Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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