i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize