They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
