I could have mohawked her pubes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
time to smoke my breakfast
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
