Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
