so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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