Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
