You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
