to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize