North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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