Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What a dumb baby whore.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
