she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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