On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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