I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize