nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
