Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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