first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
