I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
