Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My penis needs a shock collar
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
