Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
