you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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