yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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