Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
