I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
