Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
