There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
