I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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