Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize