Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
