Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
