well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
