All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
