If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
