My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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