And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
