You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
