I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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