I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
