Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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