Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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