No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
