last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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