I feel like I'm in dance class right now
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
