I hate your face
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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