how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
