Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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