At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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