When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
