Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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