I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
