Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
