I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
